I spent most of this week’s session learning just how unpredictable a D&D party can be. I watched the youtube videos; and the shorts of things players hate. I wondered if I could make 64 pieces of a modular dungeon in time for this weeks game. Spoiler alert: I cannot. The foam won’t be here in time. I agonised over how much is too much detail when channelling your inner Matt Mercer and whether I wanted to focus on specific detail clues or the big ole’ glaring ones. Agonised is absolutely what I did.
Did I prep 29 pages of possible dialogue options? Yes. Did they ignore most of it and pull some crazy batshit things…? Yes, yes they did. I loved it. I don’t think I am going to learn my lesson – so may the over-prepping gods be ever in my favour. I don’t think this is going to do it justice, but I’m going to try.
Sporky, the DM
Warning:
This campaign exists within and contains spoilers for, the Dungeons & Dragons adventure: Candlekeep Mysteries. Each individual character has their own story to tell and I am merely the arbitrator of this world. Are all the details correct? No. It’s my John Dory and it’s better than a kick up the backside.
Find more info about our Adventurers and NPC’s.
Read along at your own peril.
We left our adventurers for the night at a tavern after showing some wolves who’s boss. Wolf dinner; party of 5.
The squeaks of Tizva’s pet rat, Sooty, stirred her from slumber in the dim hours before dawn. Tizva listened intently to the hushed voices of two men, Giranior and Emgus, engaged in secretive dialogue. Their words, barely audible, spoke of matters not meant for casual ears.
Giranior, with a sense of urgency, confided in Emgus about the need for Tizva’s assistance as a capable bodyguard for Eryn. A substantial offer of 15 gold pieces hung in the air, but Emgus, protective and cautious of his daughter, resisted the idea. Giranior, however, pressed on, unveiling a deeper concern involving Allyn, Eryn’s talented younger sister. This guy has his nose in everyone’s business.
Tazrielle, Tizva’s mother, intervened. Giranior reluctantly agreed to drop it. Giranior hinted at a future continuation of the conversation, leaving the room with an air of resignation. The delicate balance between secrecy and truth lingered, casting a shadow over the tranquil morning – leaving the unresolved fate of Tizva’s involvement hanging in the air.
Giranior embarks on the task of rousing our adventurers from their slumber. Starting with a gentle tap on Eryn’s door, he extends an invitation to breakfast. Moving on to Catrin’s door, Giranior knocks to wake her, only to be met with the unmistakable sound of snores. Leave a message after the zzzzz’s
Undeterred, he proceeds to Caelum’s door, receiving a cheery response although it kinda sounded like he was brushing his moustache… finally reaches Quentin’s door, where he is greeted by the sight of Quentin balancing on his hands. Early morning yoga, anyone?
Tazrielle prepares a hearty morning feast for the adventurers. She presents a spread of fresh eggs, crispy bacon, assorted fruits, and warm bread. Each item chosen with care. Tazrielle’s vibrant personality shines as she encourages the party to eat up. Amidst the breakfast chatter, Tazrielle tries to casually inquire about the party’s travel plans, prompting Caelum to ask pointed questions. Tazrielle takes the hint and disappears. Subtle… like a brick meeting a face.
Giranior engages in a conversation with Martin, the details of which remain unheard, adding an air of mystery to the gathering. What is this dude up to?!
The adventurers chat. What’s with G’boy?! How are we gonna mess with the DM?! Plans are hatched. G’boy, almost as if sensing the party talking about him, comes over. That guy has a sixth sense…
Giranior offers Tizva 5 gold pieces to ride her horse, Mercury, to Candlekeep with the rest of the party. Tizva excitedly agrees and Giranior drops gold on the table – and rudely casually puts her to work. The attitude on this guy…
Tizva receives the gold and rushes to prepare for the journey ahead. Giranior instructs the party to meet at the front when ready and departs to pack belongings, leaving an air of anticipation for the adventures that lie ahead.
Fruit is pilfered. Bags are packed. A horse is casually walked around a corner.
Giranoir can be heard arguing. Unbeknownst to everyone, Giranoir pulls a swifty to get Tizva out. Paid for a horse and rider, getting a horse and rider – that’s how commerce works. Bag drop.
Emgus and Tazrielle resign themselves to the fact Tizva is leaving – a tear is shed.
As soon as they are out of sight of the tavern, Giranoir reverts to thinking he is the most important person on this journey and switches places with Tizva. Waffle; party of one.
“Ah, Candlekeep, the Fortress of Knowledge! It’s a remarkable place, nestled along the Sword Coast. Picture a colossal library, guarded by scholars and mages, dedicated to preserving the vast tapestry of information from across the realms. Each book, scroll, and artifact within its walls contributes to an ever-expanding repository of wisdom. It’s a haven for seekers of knowledge, a place where one can delve into the mysteries of magic, history, and more.”
Giranior talks assuming everyone is listening, but they are not.
Our adventurers make their way down the Way of the Lion to the gates of Candlekeep; the anticipation builds with every step, the road winding across the peninsula offering glimpses of the looming fortress.
“Ah, you can see Candlekeep coming into view now. I remember the last time I travelled here. The library is awe-inspiring, housing tomes from every corner of the world. Scholars, wizards, and adventurers come seeking its vast resources. The Keep itself is a bastion of learning, a sanctuary for the curious minds. And beneath its spires, secrets and ancient truths lie dormant, waiting to be discovered. Candlekeep is more than just a destination; it’s a journey through the boundless expanse of knowledge.“
Approaching the grand entrance, a double gate stands as a portal to the intellectual haven within, the air carrying the weight of centuries of scholarship. The Gatewarden, Kalan Strongbranch, emerges, introducing himself and explaining the necessity of a written offering for entry. We hoard books so hand them over.
Giranior jumps off Mercury and our adventurers interact with the Avowed Priests, presenting their literary offerings.
Caelum’s choice of A Bad Hair Day, written by Kimble the Mad is deemed unfitting. One, somewhat maniacal, priest’s black comedy retelling of exorcisms he’s performed.
Tizva’s book, Docile Beasts and Where to Hide Them, intrigues but falls short. A book of creatures that make good household pets and, for some reason, each entry includes tips and tricks for hiding them in the event of a random home inspection. How peculiar.
Quentin, thinking outside the box, asks Kalan about Gazre-Azam & Zikran but doesn’t gain what he hopes. What was that look, Kalan?
Eryn’s attempt with a note fails…
…until Giranior’s intervention. Did you just bribe Kalan?! What was in that envelope?
Catrin’s vows are unique and accepted.
Quentin carefully considers his journal and rips a page out.
He presents Prologue to the Song of Alyxian that speaks of another world – a unique find but finds that entry is denied. Exasperated, he flops on the floor defeated.
The rest of the party gains entry to Candlekeep with Tizva’s old and battered copy of Gnoll the Way Home by Pigsly Pillbottom. Quentin, still thinking he was never getting into Candlekeep, is rushed inside the gates before he even knows what is happening. What?! Huh!?
Tizva gets her book back and Kalan calls for Orrin. crickets Kalan mutters something about him being a deaf old geezer before he calls for another avowed adjunct, Fembris Larlancer, as their escort.
Note the rules fam – we don’t punish so much as banish.
Fembris Larlancer – an 18yr old human scribe with a bright smile, a can-do attitude and an obnoxious need to impress others – answers some questions for information in a way only he could…
Erudite Outfitters is your go-to spot for some snazzy robes or patching up those worn-out threads. Feldmar Bisset III is the brains behind the operation, and they even have this cozy atrium where they raise silkworms – ya know, for that extra touch of luxury.
… then completely denies that Matreous is missing.
Alright, so Candlekeep’s got these cool invisible doorways to all sorts of hidden spaces. We’re talking small rooms like you’d find in an inn, all the way to these massive demiplanes. The Avowed try to keep tabs on them, you know, but sometimes they forget, and boom – we’ve got mystery doorways. Now, here’s the deal: Some of these forgotten doorways might be like treasure chests waiting to be cracked open. But when we’re done with them, the archmages just snap their fingers, and poof! No more secret space. It’s like magical cleanup duty.
Nah, he’s probably in an extradimensional space. He’ll turn up.
… and lays down some knowledge for the future…
Heading to the Inner Ward? Well, the Emerald Door is your ticket. It’s at the end of the Court of Air, all sealed up with a fancy arcane lock spell. Only the big shots with special permission can waltz in – like, the Keeper of Tomes, the Readers or someone with pull. Like Matreous. Don’t even try sneaking in, my friend.
Our adventurers, eager to find Matreous to get a ten-day through the Emerald Door, ask Fembris to take them to the Pillars of Pedagogy.
Now, the Pillars of Pedagogy, those are like the quiet spots for seekers. Tucked away in towers, they got these private rooms where you can read without anyone bothering you. It’s like a cozy library within a library. And you bet, most of the heavy-duty research happens right there.
OK Fembris – we get it. You know all the things.
In Matreous’ study, the group discovers “The Joy of Extradimensional Spaces” and Catrin reads the shorthand hinting at the word “sceptre.” Uttering the word at no more than a whisper, she unknowingly opens a portal and the adventurers have moments to choose to pass through it. Catrin tries to hold onto the Joy of Extradimensional Spaces but cannot; it leaves her hands as she goes through. Eryn encourages Tizva with a little more force than was expected. We going for a ride, hold on!
The mansion, a blend of luxury and restraint, unfolds before the adventurers, with well-crafted architecture, warm lighting, and elegant furnishings inviting exploration. The atmosphere resonates with untold stories, promising a journey through enigmatic corridors and a symphony of textures and tones.
Matreous is standing before them, thankful they opened the portal. I’ve been standing here for 30 minutes but I found this! Holding an imp figurine, he promises to help the adventurers back in his study; but for now he has to go – and then steps through the portal, which closes behind him. Cue blood curdling screams!
Finding themselves stuck in a mansion with no obvious way out, Catrin starts having a panic attack. She’s lost the book she needs AND is now stuck in a mansion in a portal. This is not a great day.
Caelum feels an overwhelming, but fleeting sense of joy, followed by a clock ticking in his mind. Are we on a clock right now?!
In the midst of Catrin’s distress, Tizva and Eryn decide to explore the study. They uncover a wealth of information, discovering that almost all the books in the study were authored by someone named Fistandia, primarily her memoirs. I think this is her mansion?!
Fistandia, a powerful mage and a priest of Mystra, frequently visited Candlekeep for her studies. In recognition of her service and achievements, Mystra granted Fistandia a permanent extradimensional mansion in Candlekeep. To prevent guests from being trapped, Fistandia concealed the command word to open the portal on the spines of seven books in her mansion. Puzzle time!
Luckily, they found a book with an I on the spine sitting on one of the armchairs.
Amidst this revelation, they come across three paintings in the study—a landscape with a green dragon, a study of a pegasus in flight, and a portrait of a unicorn in a wooded glade. They share this information with Caelum, Quentin, and the distressed Catrin. Quentin steps in to help calm Catrin, providing calming reassurance in the face of her panic. Words got you into this, words are gonna get you out.
The adventurers split up to cover ground faster.
Caelum and Quentin find the kitchen. Caelum & Quentin meet 2 homunculi. Quentin freaks out, screams and slams the door in their face. He’s noping out of that! Next!
Tizva hears Quentin scream about little freaks and comes looking. Did the short dude just call another short dude a freak?
Catrin heads in the opposite direction with determination on her face. She kicks open the door to the Exercise room. Finding a broom, but not a book – she shouts “No books here” and continues on. Eryn follows.
Tizva talks to the homunculi and learns their names are Coriander and Cumin.
Cumin: “Oh, we belong to great mages, we do! I am the creation of Fistandia, a mage of considerable skill.”
Coriander: “And I was crafted by Freyot, another mage of no small reputation. Our masters, well, they’ve been away for quite a while. Quite a while indeed.”
Catrin, fueled by a sudden surge of literary enthusiasm, dropkicks the library door wide open like a bookish ninja on a mission. With a triumphant battle cry of “Found books,” she charges in like a knight on a quest for the Holy Grail – except her quest is for books.
As she hurtles towards the bookshelves like a bibliophilic tornado, she barely manages to reach the books before the books fight back. The library’s calm atmosphere is shattered, and chaos ensues as books start flinging themselves off shelves like rebellious literary acrobats, and forming one very angry swarm of books.
In a twist that would make even the most creative writers jealous – oh yes, I’m looking at you – Catrin finds herself buried beneath an avalanche of hardcovers and paperbacks. It’s a scene straight out of a slapstick comedy, where the zealous pursuit of knowledge is hilariously thwarted by the very objects of their desire.
Meanwhile, Eryn valiantly attempts to fend off the ferocious swarm of books, unsuccessfully grabbing at the weave before going back to boom-stick town. The room becomes a battleground, and the books—once silent guardians of knowledge—have turned into formidable adversaries. Death of a thousand paperbacks, anyone?
Just when it seems like Catrin might be destined to become a permanent resident of Book Mountain, the cavalry arrives. The rest of the party charges in, ready to rescue their intrepid companion.
As Catrin extricates herself from the literary landslide, she emerges from Book Mountain like a bedraggled hero rising from the ashes of a paperback apocalypse. Determined to make a daring escape, she takes off with the grace of a caffeinated gazelle. But is it quick enough?!
The airborne armada of novels, poetry collections, and the occasional self-help manual launches its offensive. A hefty hardcover takes aim at Catrin and connects with a resounding thud. She stumbles forward, absorbing the damage like a thespian taking a well-rehearsed stage fall.
In this carefully choreographed ballet of mayhem, the adventurers unite in a display of synchronised chaos. Like actors hitting their marks, they seamlessly coordinate their moves. Catrin, having dodged the initial barrage, regains her footing and joins the fray once more.
The rest of the party, having witnessed this impromptu theater of battle, rallies to the cause. Together, they unleash a coordinated assault on the swarm of books, employing a mix of martial prowess and arcane spells. The library echoes with the sounds of battle, punctuated by the occasional poetic whimper of a wounded paperback. What does a wounded paperback sound like? Yes… well… we answered that question.
In a crescendo of chaos and camaraderie, our adventurers emerge victorious. The swarm of books meets its demise in a spectacular display of literary warfare. Paper pieces flutter through the air like confetti at the victory parade, marking the triumphant end to the great Battle of the Biblioteca. And they say reading is a peaceful pastime! Our adventurers stand amidst the wreckage, breathing a collective sigh of relief.
They find a book with an R on the spine on one of the bookshelves in the library. I, R – Helpful!
With newfound wisdom and a heightened sense of caution, our intrepid adventurers decide to stick together like a band of overly paranoid scouts on a quest. As they cautiously traverse the mysterious corridors of the magical mansion, they decide to consult the homunculi duo in the kitchen, Coriander and Cumin, the culinary connoisseurs.
Cumin, with a hint of spice in his voice, comments on the peculiar phenomena they’ve witnessed. “Books, you say? We’ve seen piles of them growing in the library. Quite strange, really. And the imp? Haven’t seen it in ages. Curious, isn’t it?”
Funny you mention that, Cumin… I think we know why the books have been growing in the library.
Coriander, the other half of this enigmatic duo, nods in agreement. “Very curious. Our masters were quite particular about the animated books and the missing imp. Maybe you’ll find them in your explorations.” The adventurers exchange glances, absorbing the information like sponges in a sea of mystery. Didn’t Matreous take an Imp figurine out through the portal?
Cumin continues, “Masters said not to touch books with single letters on the spine. Strange, isn’t it? Oh, and Fistandia, she loved the planetarium. She’d vanish in there and come back all thoughtful-like.”
Coriander chimes in eagerly, “Yes, yes! Something about stars and such. But beware, don’t touch those lettered books. We don’t know why, but our masters made it very clear.”
Armed with these cryptic warnings and nuggets of information, the party sets off to explore further, finding themselves in the Dining room. Eryn, displaying a momentary lapse of caution, spots a chair that seems out of place. Ever the risk-taker, Eryn decides it’s a great idea to take a seat and rolls the proverbial dice. See what I did there?
To the party’s collective horror, the chair springs to life, revealing itself to be a mimic in disguise, though it appears to be in a weakened state. Eryn narrowly escapes its clutches, rolling away like a seasoned acrobat dodging danger. The lesson? In this magical mansion, even the furniture plays tricks, and sitting down might just be a gamble of life and death.
Once again, an epic battle ensued – which was genuinely terrifying for both sides. I really need to start taking better battle notes….
They each find a cozy spot in the Dining room, which despite the recent mimic-induced chaos, exudes an oddly comforting ambiance with its dim candlelight and antique decor. Is that real silverware?
Coriander and Cumin, the homunculi from the kitchen, make a surprise appearance, bearing trays of snacks and refreshments. “Thought you might need a pick-me-up after that chair-ade,”
The adventurers share a collective eye roll, but gratitude wins the day as they indulge in the homunculi’s offerings. The atmosphere shifts from tense to jovial as they exchange stories of their perilous encounters, turning the Dining room into an impromptu tavern of camaraderie.
With snacks devoured and tales shared, the party takes a well-deserved short rest, recharging both their bodies and their spirits. Little do they know, more challenges and quirks await them in the ever-unpredictable magical mansion. But for now, in the glow of mimic-dodging triumph, they savour the simple joy of a restful moment in a most peculiar dining establishment.
What happens next? You’ll just have to turn up next Sunday and find out!
Till next time.